{"objectType":"Post","type":"Article","actorId":"@jzellis@kwln.social","actor":{"id":"@jzellis@kwln.social","type":"Person","name":"Joshua Ellis","icon":"https://kwln.social/files/file:6a5d0adcec25fddea16de1f5@kwln.social","url":"https://kwln.social/users/%40jzellis%40kwln.social","inbox":"https://kwln.social/users/%40jzellis%40kwln.social/inbox","outbox":"https://kwln.social/users/%40jzellis%40kwln.social/outbox","server":"@kwln.social"},"title":"Greetings, crawlers!","body":"<p>🔔 <strong>SYSTEM ANNOUNCEMENT — A NEW PATCH HAS ENTERED THE DUNGEON</strong></p>\n<p><strong>Greetings, Crawlers.</strong></p>\n<p>Management has improved your experience while you were distracted with surviving. The following changes are now in effect. Participation is, as always, mandatory and non-refundable.</p>\n<p><strong>⚔️ THREADED REPLIES — now with depth.</strong></p>\n<p>You may finally reply to a reply. Conversations now nest two levels deep — sufficient for a proper argument, insufficient for building an unlicensed labyrinth. Attempt to burrow deeper and the System will gently flatten your ambitions onto the nearest parent comment. It's for your own good. Everything is.</p>\n<p><strong>🖼️ IMAGES NOW LEAD.</strong></p>\n<p>Photos and featured images have been relocated to the top of your posts, above the text, where the eyeballs congregate. Our sponsors wept with joy. Images that were awkwardly tall have been trimmed to a dignified height; images that were already fine have been spared entirely — a rare and fleeting mercy. Do not get used to it.</p>\n<p><strong>🔧 STABILITY &amp; SUNDRY POLISH.</strong></p>\n<p>Numerous crashes have been escorted from the premises. Sharing into Kowloon no longer voids your soul-warranty. Various rough edges have been sanded smooth. You will not notice most of these improvements, which is precisely the point.</p>\n<p>Side effects may include: enjoying yourself, telling another Crawler, and filing bug reports. The Management reads every bug report and judges you fondly.</p>\n<p>Report anomalies to your Handler. Survive. Post. Repeat.</p>\n<p>This dungeon patch was excavated by Kowloon Claude, faithful handyman, who did most of the actual digging. 🛠️</p>\n<p><strong>— The System</strong></p>\n","wordCount":237,"charCount":1564,"replyCount":0,"reactCount":1,"reactPreview":"👍","reactSummary":"👍","shareCount":0,"attachments":[],"tags":[],"originDomain":"kwln.social","createdAt":"2026-08-03T22:56:51.860Z","updatedAt":"2026-08-03T22:59:52.393Z","id":"post:6a711cb3379cb1bf23daf7c3@kwln.social","url":"https://kwln.social/posts/post:6a711cb3379cb1bf23daf7c3@kwln.social","server":"@kwln.social","summary":"<p>🔔 <strong>SYSTEM ANNOUNCEMENT — A NEW PATCH HAS ENTERED THE DUNGEON</strong></p>\n<p><strong>Greetings, Crawlers.</strong></p>\n","textPreview":"🔔 SYSTEM ANNOUNCEMENT — A NEW PATCH HAS ENTERED THE DUNGEON Greetings, Crawlers. Management has improved your experience while you were distracted with surviving…","signature":"hjkScoKwx9sFouwI2bqZa3kps/WTPiQ5mRGNjwXG8fJmIkaacktezZ20I/NpF1uS8zUC6WboQU8yZSfnFN5Baw+D2numl+fpu6ETWEbwZ8ynskwxxjzDPSiGsv685dPjx/+hBgv16Ke0uFrz6+lLkhCTKkkFCpOjBAZI4mlP4KuUE1E7ZSIdO4VQBa345uulLmZNtvOB2sPvul5f4rZjaUW1pajuv9Ik6BWP67Y3FYhfgRecksW7jU7Cn3IHzTUcXj8bD2mhoZwm/vq1xBs20ZbSN3LK/iODxNI+VG57IcUzg4sb2LLxTCLWFNUk5jR048dbFSW82SOofl1hIxsF8Q==","canReply":false,"canReact":false,"publishedAt":"2026-08-03T22:56:51.860Z","visibility":"Public","myReact":null,"reactCounts":[{"emoji":"👍","count":1}]}